I Think I've Finally Found Some Solid Ground.

Sunday 28 April

So yeah. I woke up this morning, wrote a blog, hiked with my mom and Karen, talked with my Hallett friends, and ended back in Smith. Like a boss.

I'm at a loss of what to say today. Most of the important stuff happened yesterday. Yeah.

So I'm just going to say things that are good lately.


I love to hike. It's the fucking best.

I'm glad my mom buys me dinner and I can talk to her about my life and be completely honest with her, because she's put up with a lot of shit from me over the years, even if it is just a messy room or a weekend at a dance competition or late nights from Stage Crew.

I'm happy that my parents are managing together. They worry me sometimes that they won't actually make it through the next storm—profoundly so—but somehow they always make it, and I'm so grateful for that.

I love my best friend Crissie more than anything in the world and I would be infinitely more lost on this planet if it wasn't for her. I like her more than pizza. And I REALLY like pizza.

I'm happy I have a safe zone on campus where I can break down or have fun without any judgments. The fact that the Brackett clan exists is essential to my well being, mental health, and general awesomeness.

Denny's is the greatest. Some of my best memories are coming from that stupid diner.

I fucking love my majors. I'm seriously so happy I've stuck with them chemistry because it's fascinating and I'm glad I'm doing political science even though everyone told me not to, because it's so wonderful.

My brother and sister have been the most important people to me for all the years they have been on the planet, and sometimes I worry about the two of them. But Mason's going to prom and I'm so fucking excited for him and Ellie scored two goals in her soccer game and won the game for her team and I'm so fucking excited for her too.

Nature is so awesome. Literally, it fills me with awe.

I'm so SO excited to see Iron Man 3 this Friday. I can't even tell you.

I'm so stoked for summer where I can sit on my ass and get paid to read quality literature.

People suck sometimes, but there are a few that can make me smile no matter what and they seriously don't even know how hopeful that makes me for the future.

I am so happy I'm in Boulder, because I would have been a mess if I was anywhere else with anyone else. I'm going to be really sad to move on from some of the people I've met this year. Transience kind of sucks.

I'm not sure I want to tramp a perpetual journey anymore. Because for the first time in my life I am starting to believe that I'm standing on solid ground and I'm beginning to put down roots.

I've been breakable lately, but I'm learning how to not completely shatter anymore.


So yeah. These are some good things, and I needed a minute to just sit back and appreciate those. We all do. Because there is so much good and so much beauty, and the only way we're ever going to cope with existential angst and mental breakdowns is if we hold onto these.

I'm going to sleep now.

Thanks for reading :)