Tuesday 2 April
This is a much more difficult endeavor than I had originally anticipated. I have neither the time nor the energy, but I shall press on.
I'm like Thomas Jefferson in his secretary of state years.
You're going to get a lot of those Jefferson references in the coming weeks.
Well last night I was up rather late writing an ethics paper (which was actually kind of good—it's the paper-elves again), and I spent the morning wanting to stay in bed for the rest of the day. Eventually I rallied and headed off to my Norlin class over in the library. I even put on actual pants today. On my way there I found some people who were touring campus and were hopelessly lost in the labyrinth that is Kittredge. So I helped them out and that was great!
My Norlin class was great; we mostly meditated and watched TED talks (one about body language and one about women in top-level positions in the workplace). I freaking love that class. It makes me think, above all, and that's what you want.
THEN I had a consultation about my Thomas Jefferson paper, which you'll be hearing more about because THAT is the honors project for this year. Oh joy. MORE WORK. LOVE APRIL.
I went to Farrand and got pizza, which is awesome to have back in my life after a week of absence. Because America.
I planned on writing a paper after that, but instead I watched three episodes of Suits because it's the best legal drama ever. They are snarky (and attractive) lawyers who make Star Trek and Downton Abbey references and it's THE GREATEST.
Then I hopped on the productivity train and helped Sam with her lab and then went to the library with Crissie and then did some Tutorial Tuesday work. Then that fell to crap because we're super lazy and don't give a f*ck anymore. Like adults. And NOW I'm sitting in Hallett writing this because Crissie told me to, sipping a Naked Juice and neglecting my Norlin paper. So YOU'RE WELCOME.
This Norlin paper is giving me a remarkable amount of trouble. Honestly.
You know that essay "Girl" by Jamaica Kincaid? We've been asked to write a paper defining what that means based on our gender definitions. And you know what I'm realizing?
I am REALLY BAD at being a girl.
No, really. I've been called the most consistent "bro" of my friend group.
And I don't know why. I grew up in the midst of sparkles and glitter as a ballerina, probably one of the more feminine sports there is. And yet, I'm in on the penis talks, am forced to keep up with the guys on hikes, I'm in the hard sciences and make calculus jokes, and get no concessions such as held open doors. They never even ask me to make them sandwiches.
I don't understand it. Maybe I've just internalized so many of these behaviors that I don't even notice I do them. I mean, I'm particular about my hair and sometimes my clothes, but that's just me. Some guys I know give more sh*ts about their appearance than I do most days. I don't know.
I guess the biggest example of me being a girl is that I consistently apologize for being smart. It's hard not to. I mean, a guy can be smart and OWN it and not come across as a jerk, but if I try and own it, I come across as a bitch. And that's sad. Same thing with politicians—Hillary Clinton's a bitch and Sarah Palin's a ditz, but the males are just "principled" and "strong willed." And that, quite frankly, kills me. I don't know why it should even matter, but it does.
Basically, I'm just me, and you're just you, and that's the most we can ever be.
I need to get better at writing thesis statements. And blogs. Like really. Balls. It takes me awhile to get my bearings, and then, I PROMISE, profundity will occur.
Anyway I'm off to write a paper, and then SLEEP (that's supposed to be a funny joke).
Thanks for reading :)
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