Wednesday 24 April
Last night I got home late, so I decided to get the sleep my body so craves yet never utilizes accordingly. Woo.
Yeah. So I woke up yesterday and was absolutely thrilled that it was warm enough to NOT WEAR SHOES, and so I've decided the rest of the semester is going to be flip flops, sandals, and light jackets. I don't give a flying fuck if there is still snow on the ground. Shoes are for pansies.
Yeah. I rode my bike to physics like a pro, and arrived kind of on time. We learned about waves some more, which I quite enjoy. I don't know why; I just really like them—maybe it's because of all the connections to music that are applicable. I'm also going to add that I really truly miss orchestra a lot more than I thought I would. Then we did FCQ's and Joe and I walked up through the center of the lecture hall, which I had never done before, and it was really quite a fascinating shift in perspective and it really weirded me out. I think it's another idea I have to digest like a boa constrictor.
Then I went to Western Political Thought, where we learned more about Tocqueville and his views on how individualism (read: narcissism and disengagement from politics) will destroy the vibrant sense of democracy in America at the time, and I'm honestly quite afraid he's right. Many of my friends absolutely deplore politics and most people I know fail to see any importance of the government on their lives, and I think that's really sad, compared to what we used to be.
Yeah. Then along came Chemistry and we talked about PHOTOCHEMISTRY, which I also find fascinating and I think it'd be fun to go into and learn more about. P-Chem is seeming more and more the subfield of my major for me, even though the concept of taking that class my junior year here fills me with this vague sense of apocalyptic dread and the feeling that I will be having a lot of vodka that year (which will be completely legal at that point).
Anyway. Then I went to lunch with Sam and she told me about her weekend, which seemed Pretty Interesting, and left me questioning just for a second why on earth we do the crazy stupid things we do. Because it's exhausting, this whole living thing, and it's not entirely what I thought it would be. And I don't know what to do to change it, or the culture up here, or the way I feel about it all—that is, marvelously ambivalent. Maybe I AM morally bankrupt. I don't know anymore.
Then, my lovely little sister Miss Ellie came up after her half day and we picked up Crissie for WEDNESDAY STARBUCKS YEAH and my sister and Crissie talked incessantly like they do and I just listened like I do, feeling both happy that these two are in my life and a little embarrassed for everyone around us that has to deal with the three of us haha :)
Then we hung out in Hallett and Ellie told us stories of middle school and I creeped on her Instagram and we had a grand time just talking, sharing stories and a little bit of our time together. Then she had to leave, and I really honestly just miss that kid sometimes. I miss her enthusiasm and her optimism and her innocence, three things which as of late have been lacking a bit in my life. The world is just so puddle-wonderful with her, and I wish it could be that way again, you know?
Anyway. I ended up almost passing out on Crissie's futon trying and failing to figure out the written physics homework for this week and sat there just rolling in waves of pure exhaustion. Then she went to study for ASL and I went back to Kitt and took a brief nap, sleeping right through my dinnertime. So then I decided to fuck homework completely and watched three episode of Portlandia in a row, and it was awesome. I fucking love Fred Armisen, and I laughed really loud and obnoxiously and it was Pretty Great to just relax for an hour. Then I walked to Noodles and Company and got a macaroni and cheese and came back to Kitt to eat that while watching the first twenty minutes of Thor on Netflix.
THEN, quite ironically, Graham texted me and was like, "Iron Man in like a half hour?" and I was like "OH MY FUCKING GOD YES" because anything superhero-related with me is never the question—it's always the answer*. And yeah, I know I'm a giant nerd, but my friends do know and appreciate that, and I'm eternally grateful for that.
Anyway. I walked over to Brackett and socialized for a good forty five minutes before we even started the damn movie, but it was fun. I love my engineers, and I don't feel like I see them nearly as often as usual anymore. We mostly just talked about life and next year and plans for the summer and giving up on homework and how the Epo doesn't sell regular Rockstars anymore and that's terrible**. Izzy tried to convince us to come to Theta Xi's barbecue, and I refused because I'm a vegetarian, have about forty-three cents left to my name, and frats are definitively Not The Place for a nerd like me. But really.
We finally started Iron Man at 10:30 and even though I've literally seen it six times, it was just as awesome. It never gets old. I think that's part of my identity as a nerd—I have to keep reexamining things, to see if I missed something the first time, to see how I've changed my views and how my thinking has evolved over time. It's fascinating to me.
Yeah. So then after the movie ended at 12:30, we stood around and talked and I was invited to Ramadonna*** and I finally decided to leave. I got my bike from Duane and rode across campus and ended up in my dorm trying and failing, once again, to do my physics homework.
I had an intensely difficult time falling asleep, but eventually I did and it wasn't as good as I needed it to be, but whatever.
Yeah. I always feel a lot better about life in general after a superhero movie binge. I'm not quite sure why. Like last year The Avengers led to an existential revelation which was CRAZY and helped me get through the rest of the school year without being an emotional train wreck. I don't know if it's because they are genuinely inspiring or whatever, or if it's because I'm just a giant nerd and expressing that for even a little bit, knowing something like that for sure, helps me cope with the rest of the wreckage I'm calling my life. I think it's that.
So anyway. Basically I'm pretty sure if all of the mechanical, aerospace, computer, and chemical engineers I know teamed up, you could probably build the Iron Man suit, and then I would love you forever. Please get cracking :)
I'm off to ethics. Thanks for reading and being there and staying excellent :)
*but really. This year, I was invited to see The Avengers three times (and I went haha), was sent multiple pictures of Marvel memorabilia, was given Avengers-themed school supplies by my mom, a Captain America frisbee to toss around the quad, and bought four pairs of Marvel socks at Target. I also own two Captain America shirts, an Iron Man shirt, and two Marvel shirts. I am a little bit obsessed.
**because Kevin and I are addicts and NEED OUR CAFFEINE FIX DAMMIT
***you don't really want to know
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