So I've managed to go a week on this blog every day April thing, and since the first week is always the hardest, now I can do anything. That is a gross overstatement.
After accomplishing the Herculean task of getting out of bed, I went to lab this morning. I may have dug myself into a hole on this whole "synthesis of polymers" thing because my distillation bumped not once, not twice, but FIVE TIMES AND JUST UGH MY SAND BATH SPIKED UP TO 280 CELSIUS WHEN IT WAS SUPPOSED TO STAY AT 220 AND MY VAPOR TEMPERATURE FLUCTUATED BETWEEN 15 CELSIUS AND 98 CELSIUS AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. Basically my presentation is going to be "I literally did everything right...but then everything went wrong #oops," which is basically my life in a nutshell.
Nerd rage. It's the best rage.
Anyway then I came home fuming and ate some pizza rolls, and then I decided to go outside and tan with Paige and Dani whilst reading Hunger (AND NOW WE'RE DONE YEAH!). So I soaked up some sun, got yelled at by boys on bikes, and accomplished the Herculean task of going to class. The sun may be evil, but sometimes it's almost okay. It's a lot like Alexander Hamilton from a Jeffersonian viewpoint in that respect (oho, I bet you thought I was going to make a Game of Thrones reference. Left turn, bitches).
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| Actual Photo of a Colorado Resident During Second Winter |
Revolutions and Political Violence today focused on Jihad in the Islamic world. I particularly enjoyed the discussion about "blowback," whose main definition was that actions taken by one country in one zone can lead to unforeseen complications in another zone (i.e. the US arming Afghan refugees with the help of Saudi fundamentalist schools in Pakistan back in the eighties, which eventually led to the Taliban regime in Afghanistan and the creation of Al Qaeda). Chalmers Johnson has another blowback theory dealing with the hatred of Americans for Islam, because a great many covert operations by the West aren't made clear to the general public, and we end up not understanding the retaliation, creating a poop public opinion cycle.
And honestly, I'd agree with that statement. I've always loved the Near East, and I think it's fascinating and complex and generally freaking awesome. I gave a presentation in my sociology class my senior year of high school about Iran (since I was trying to multitask for CP and I found it genuinely interesting), and my teacher asked me if I'd ever visit Iran and I said "Oh hell yeah!" and she looked shocked, and then a few other people in my class said they'd probably go too. A week later, she showed us the film Not Without My Daughter with Sally Fields (dear God that movie was awful, and not just from a disillusioned Westerner's perspective) and then she asked me if I still wanted to go, and I said "Oh hell yeah!" and everyone in my class thought I was absolutely mad. Even when I tried to tell them how ripped out of the present context it was, they wouldn't listen and I felt helpless.
I'm a part of Western civilization, undeniably—I believe in Enlightenment ideals of democracy and I'm a feminist (admittedly a self-deprecating one, but I am one) and I'm a female in science at a research institution and I swear profusely and I wear short skirts and I tan in a bikini top in April and I speak my mind and I want to fight for the ideals I believe in to survive on this earth. But that doesn't mean I'll immediately condemn something that someone else believes in just as passionately. I can try to make other humans see my story, and I'll try my damnedest to see theirs of it. I'll look at everything presented to me before I make a judgment. But unless it seeks to directly injure myself or the people I love, I have no place condemning it. I spent too many years seeing my own beliefs shut down, and I physically can't do that to someone. I'm a bad politician because of that, I understand. But I'd rather be a bad politician than a bad human being, in the grand scheme of things.
Goddamn I'm a liberal in the broadest sense of the word.
Sorry for the rant—it's just that people's absolute ignorance of these issues pisses me off, because sometimes humans are so damn reactionary, and I know that Søren Kierkegaard would hate me for saying this, but sometimes you need to take a step back and assess and really get to the root of the problem. Maybe it was just because I lived in a rich, conservative suburb and my peers told me I was flat-out wrong for believing what I did about politics and nothing I could ever say, no matter how eloquently I put it, would help them see where I was coming from, and I'll forever be waging that war for them to see the beauty in a sad place or the opposing side of an issue. Maybe I'm crazy. But I think that's important.
Anyway. On with the day.
Nordic Literature was A++ because our teacher said he'd be totally down with having class outside which was totally great, even in a dress, because sitting in a field of grass barefoot, talking about great (maybe not Knut Hamsun great) literature is all I've ever wanted to do with my life. Because I have weird Romantic (like the period of history not the sentiment, because gross did you really think I'd stoop to that level) dreams I'd like to live out even as a Modernist.
Anyway I had a nice walk home from class and came home to Tumblr and a bit of chemistry studying before the roomies came home from the gym (heh heh) and I talked to my grandma and that was nice. We then set off on an adventure to get free Ben and Jerry's cones, but the line was hella long so we bounced the fuck outta there. Then I got half-baked flavour at the store because I think I'm fucking hilarious, and the donut guy gave us three donuts fo fwee which was grand!
Then I came home and ranted over my frustrations (again—like this is getting bad because just UGH SUCH FRUSTRATIONS MUCH EVERYWHERE VERY HELLA NO JUST WOW) and ate too much ice cream and some Boulder Chips and I'm listening to the Tangled soundtrack resisting the urge to read A Dance with Dragons and instead am formatting a final essay for my Nordic Literature class a FULL WEEK before it's due. Suck it.
I also found out I've ruined several people's lives with the game 2048 which is the best thing I've ruined people's lives with since BBC Sherlock. I love this.
Anyway I'm off to write about The Present Age, which in my moral ambiguity, I'm Kierkegaard's Worst Nightmare. Fuck yeah.
Thanks for reading :)
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