Introvert Parties

Thursday 10 April

Well yesterday I was up far too late writing my narrative and talking to roomies and such, so the blog fell by the wayside (much like my studies of organic chemistry, oops).

Yesterday wasn't so bad—it began in lab once again, where I refluxed for an hour with a carcinogenic reagent (this class is quite literally KILLING ME), and then performed the final step I had, which TOTALLY WORKED AND I MADE POLYSTYRENE (call me Margaret Thatcher #winning).

Then I came home and tanned outside while reading A Dance With Dragons, which is turning everything I thought I knew about Westeros and Essos on its head (wow. just wow). I may have burned the back of my legs quite severely, but c'est la vie or whatever.

I headed to class again and learned some more about Jihad and read a very interesting article about the death of Osama bin Laden and whether it mattered or not in the larger scheme of things (and, in case you were wondering, I DO remember where I was when I heard that news, and the answer is I was in a severe sleep-deprived panic over the AP Calculus exam after my junior prom and I had the feeling that things weren't quite right with the world anymore. I wasn't elated, like my brother was, I was just a bit shocked, honestly).

After that, I went to Nordic Literature, panicked internally about the paper I haven't started, and we discussed Anecdotes of Destiny, by the woman I'm sure I was in a past life, Karen Blixen. She's one of my favorite authors as well as a personal role model (so no, I DON'T just idolize Cersei Lannister, because I have ambitions or whatever). She was also a huge nerd for Kierkegaard, which means I understand what she's saying quite easily and love her to bits. Hell yeah. She's awesome. Check her out if you get the chance.

Then I walked home to the tune of the Inception soundtrack and thought about my paper for Nordic literature and got myself a vague inkling, which was helpful. I then went to the library with Paige and Dani and spent two straight hours in a study room reading speeches by Woodrow Wilson and articles about World War One, which was fun. I ogled the 3D printout of Winterfell at the desk, which was frikkin awesome. Then we went home, I made some pasta, and had an introvert's party with Dani (aka we dropped all our homework and started talking about life).

Introvert parties are always fun, because it starts off as like, "Hey we're both on our phones and hey look at this thing on Tumblr and have you seen that other thing here and oh we are so adorkable," but then it morphs into something else entirely. We ended up discussing politics (which is fun because she's one of the few conservatives I know that has valid arguments and it's fun to bounce stuff back and forth with people that don't share my views), which ended up turning into the struggle to get a job or an internship, which morphed into past relationships, and then morphed into sexism.

It was interesting because she too felt the total double standard of being smart when you're a male versus the absolute stigma of being smart when you're a female. Most of my friends are highly intelligent males, and we get along remarkably well. For most of my life, I've been a scholar before I've been a female, or a dancer, or anything else, which has been awesome because I'm a nerd, yet a bit detrimental because when I say things like, "I think Benedict Cumberbatch is hella fine," they give me a skeptical "Who are you and what have you done with Maggie?" look and I promptly comment on his portrayal of Sherlock Holmes or whatever and it's over. It's a weird duality.

Anyway. It's nice to have conversations about things that matter like that, especially since it's something I really like to talk about and it so rarely comes out in conversations.

It's also really mind blowing to me that I've known some of these people in my life for upwards of seven years, but I don't really ever know them. It's terrifying that we never really talk about these deepest facets of ourselves, or we only get to one side of the many-sided dice or see one face of the many-faced god or whatever metaphor you choose to use. But it's also really, really encouraging to see that everyone else is a sinking ship with cracks and broken strings and thoughts that frighten them. And for someone who adores solitude, it's really incredibly nice to know that you're never truly lonely in this universe. You may be alone, but you're never isolated, no matter what. And I think that's beautiful.

Anyway. I'm off to tan again (white girl problems).

Thanks for reading :)