So basically Fridays in College are the nights for either sheer debauchery or the nights to discover deep truths about the universe, and last night was one of the latter. My friends are awesome.
Yesterday began with organic, which was actually fairly interesting because of Azo Dye Chemistry. I don't know. Organic for me is always better when I get those lectures where it's actually useful somewhere other than a chemistry plant. It ended me getting a fairly low score on my O-Chem exam that I'm REALLY going to have to put in some work with for the next few weeks. Fuck.
Law was pretty interesting—we learned about the Plessy v. Ferguson case which never fails to make me just throw my hands up in the air and shout, "REALLY SUPREME COURT WHAT THE HECK WHY DID YOU THINK THAT A GOOD THING FOR YOU TO DO?" I have a visceral repulsion to that damn opinion, especially since Brown's is so, SO bad (my teacher said, "Yeah, he wasn't really regarded as one of the shining lights of the Court") and Harlan's dissent is SO FRIKKIN GOOD. It's infuriating as a legal scholar because the precedents were flimsy, and it's infuriating as a human being because that wasn't the right thing to do in the least. We also talked about the Buck and Skinner cases regarding mandatory castration of sorts, which were also Pretty Shit Cases, but that's the social realm in the early twentieth century for you. Grr.
Anyway. I came home from that, Tumblred, and critiqued papers for writing, which was nifty. Then I WENT to writing, where we sat outside and discussed papers. This was me the whole time:
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| The Suppressed Rage of a Targaryen |
Yeah. Then I walked home in a halfway pleasant mood for the shitty situation I've found myself in, saw two squirrels doing it in a parking lot and so I can cross that one off my bucket list, sat outside for awhile with Future Roomies Paige and Jill, and cleaned my room.
Then because I'm out of food, I took Crissie and we went to Panera and that was FREAKING AMAZING BECAUSE I'M SO HUNGRY ALWAYS and it was nice to catch up with Crissie since we don't really do that even though we live together. It's weird. Ya. Then we went to Target and had a Mildly Sane trip, which was bizarre because usually we hang out and lay waste to that damn store. Yeah. We're cool.
Anyway. Came home, wrote a blog, helped Crissie take her shit out to her car, and was left alone for an hour or so while I found new music again oopsie and also read A Dance With Dragons by myself, and it was awesome. I found this quote the other day by Polish journalist Kuba Wojewodzki and it went, "I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I'm not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I'm afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love." Which sets up a great precedent for the rest of the evening.
Paige came home from her dinner and saw me sitting alone, and then told me that I was going to come out with her, and since I hadn't heard back from other people I was like yeah sure why not, so I put on some Lady Clothes (and I looked Hella Cute if I do say so myself) and headed over to Building A and hung out with some international students for awhile. I met some new people, tried not to be awkward, and did my best to not be the misanthropic grumpster I usually am.
I did pretty well, but I was quite excited when I got the text that Bongi and Evan did indeed want to hang out and/or watch Star Trek in one of its incarnations, and so I NOPED on the going out plan and came back and then just talked with those two nerds for literally five hours. And Damn Was That A Talk, ranging from our intellectual careers to politics (YAY THAT'S MY FAVORITE) to religion and faith (ALSO MY FAVORITE BECAUSE OF KIERKEGAARDIAN REASONS) to our role in life (ANOTHER FAVORITE BECAUSE EXISTENTIALISM) to our role in our families. Paige came home and listened for awhile before she fell asleep (I called her a "precious little snowflake" and she was like, "Thanks MOM."). I was the only female voice in the conversation and I'm sorry I can't give a better female perspective because I'm not very good at being a girl.
Star Trek didn't happen but that was okay.
I don't know. I think it's important to sit down and discuss ideas and world events and our place in the cosmos and our own microcosms and try to get down to the bottom of what this whole life thing means. Maybe we do just end up reflecting more on things rather than actually acting on things. Maybe we don't reach any conclusions. Maybe we aren't supposed to reach any conclusions. We get an answer to one question and then think of ten more. But the point is, you have that discourse and you try.
Whitman has the gift to become other people in "Song of Myself," and I know for a fact that I don't have that gift. But it's important to try and understand what other people think and how other people think, and to articulate your own thoughts on the matter. Because your opinions do matter, and it's a damn shame that we don't talk about them more often in this crazy stupid world we live in.
And I suppose my whole take on this life thing is that I may be lacking in some morals and have a severe surplus in others, and I may have royally fucked up in some areas and I may have done a halfway decent job in others, and I may not believe in a god and I may not believe that there's a plan for us. But I believe in us. Every place and person and experience has been a gift to me. Just because I don't know their genesis does not diminish their colossal significance. It's been a series of happy accidents that's placed me in this position, and I would not trade this terrific wave of serendipity for anything. It has been an honor to be on the road with all of you and to lean forward to the next crazy adventure under the sun. I don't have much honor. But I've got this.
So yeah. Late night talks with the bros. What a time to be alive.
I'm off to go do some stupid organic chemistry and probably get distracted researching the English Civil War. Radical.
Thanks for reading :)
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